Hatching Soon: Human Eggs

Keeping Evolution Fun

Joan E. Strassmann recently provided some suggestions on how to proceed if your research stops being fun for you. Following her lead, I will provide you with some suggestions of my own. As you might have guessed, this blog-and-book project talks about life and living with evolutionary theory as a guide.

Driving Religious Fanatics and Constructivists Crazy

We can adapt the logic of selfish reproduction and gene perpetuation in myriad fun ways while adhering strictly to rigorous scientific logic. I’ve had a lot of fun with that one before. Religious people flip, and it’s fun to watch, when you prove them that we are controlled by genetics. Dive deep into research on behaviour and genetics to get more into it. I recommend it. There are genes for anything you can think of, and you can link them to rigorous evolutionary logic that works wonders. There are genes for schizophrenia, proving the scientific basis of psychoanalysis, and there are genes for alcoholism, depression, repression, sexism, and if you look hard enough, there are genes for culture too – this will be the new age of evolutionary biology and genetics. It will herald the end of the social sciences, something we’ve been eagerly waiting for. It’s just a question of time until people wake up for the evolutionary truth.

Becoming an Atheist God

richard_dawkins_2009Following Richard Dawkins’ lead, we can all become Gods. This keeps things fun. We will no longer have to worry about religious fundamentalism telling us what we should or not do. You should make up your own rules and follow them. There’s no need to attend to the morality of the churches when nihilist philosophers have come up with the same set of moral precepts. And the best thing about being your own God is that you can play God without feeling guilty. I can’t wait for the future – men will colonise the galaxy, flying faster than light all over the place. Even the word place will lose meaning in that new world.

Genetic Evolution and the Chimera Taboo

We will be able to change our genetics at will – women will have the choice of having babies in eggs instead of the usual, life threatening methods. This technology is under development now, thanks to advancements in research that is still taboo in the West, but it’s very advanced in the East. I call it the chimera taboo, the irrational fear of hybrid creatures that religious fundamentalists and zealots so eagerly express. My sources have confirmed these developments, but they want to remain anonymous for now. We will certainly be seeing this on the news soon! So far, it has only been revealed in the mainstream that editing genes at will is becoming easier and easier.

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The Evolution of Human Reproduction: Laying Eggs

But there’s some recent good news! Chinese researchers have designed a retrovirus, based on various egg-laying animals and human hormonal biology, to transfer the function of the womb into an egg yoke. The treatment will be ultimately available in two forms – a pill regime and an injection treatment, which permanently turns both embryos and periods into eggs. After 4 months of gestation, the woman will deliver the egg, and then care for it, keeping it at room temperature, for the remaining months. The birth can be easily monitored, and the whole family can be present for the cracking of the egg. Nutritional and hormonal analyses are being conducted in the eggs that have so far been laid as periods and hatched as embryos. Researchers have confirmed that human eggs might be safe for human consumption, but more studies still need to be done to know for certain. Meanwhile, they noted that animals who feed on genetically-modified human eggs remain healthy.

Head Transplants and the Future

Soon, we will all be able to pop our heads into a stronger, healthier, more beautiful bodies, through the scientific achievement of head transplants. These are exciting, changing times we are living on the earth as interconnected, globalized human beings. One evolutionary biologist that I know for decades called me yesterday. He had a dream that we had gone way beyond this small step, of head transplants. In fact, he confided to me, it would be possible to socket heads, or to change them, trying new bodies, and switch bodies at will. On the one hand, you will have collection of headless bodies at home, all genetically engineered for a different purpose – climber, sky diver, fighter, dancer, you name it. You’d also have a collection of heads that would fit different occasions.

chuman

Transgenderism will become the norm. The way your consciousness is transferred is simpler – we are dissecting the connections of the body and turning them into something like power switches. That means that, with the aid of a machine, we can slip our brains, unharmed, from a head into another, and then pop that head into a body we would like to use. There are no side-effects and the possibilities would be endless. We will not longer have to worry about culture and identity. Plus, we can take more risks  – this will revolutionize our Hollywood experience. We would have, instead of fake looking CGI, arms being torn for real. We will get the ultimate realism in dismemberment experiences, including the actors, but with no risk of death. We will thus learn more about pain. We will learn more about being other people, and we wouldn’t even need to wear pairing arms and legs.

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